I’m romancing the stones. You’d expect this from me, right? You know I’ve got it bad for Mick and the boys, and you probably think the re-release of Exile has me mad. Yes, I’m writhing on my sheets. No, it’s not what you think.
The irony is that I have some rolling stones in a vestigial organ that concentrates bile, and I’ve been out of sorts lately.
Remember the 911 call? Not an auto accident. Thought it was a heart attack. There have been roughly four more since that day, only one other that involved a fire truck and beefy men. By the way, the Durham firemen are more buff than the ones here in Orange County.
The workup wasn’t too prolonged. Thanks to one of the studies, I now have the reassurance that I don’t have mitral valve prolapse like some in my family. But the problem is what I do have is really, really painful. And can you believe my friend, Susan, made the diagnosis over the phone without seeing the patient? And without spending a fortune on medical school like I did.
So I’m romancing the stones. Cutting fat out of the diet. Painful? Very. My husband is a wizard in the kitchen and we can’t break bread the way we used to. Every day sustenance is a challenge. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. And stay away from the muffin man.
My strawberry shortcake ain’t what it used to be. Here’s one that I made with gluten-free cornbread, strawberries soaked in apple cider (not balsamic) vinegar, topped with (yum?) no-fat plain yogurt and a sprinkle of what might be too much coconut now that I've checked the label.
Taking a walk on the bright side, I get to watch late night TV if I’m having an attack--they often occur when you’ve already drifted off to sleep. This week I tuned into two-timing, sorry, two-time Oscar winner Michael Douglas on Jimmy Kimmel’s show and heard him suggest that Catherine’s understudy might come home on the nights Catherine has to do the show. Yep. Also caught Sean Penn on C-SPAN2. He gave a harrowing account of an ambulance ride with a young Haitian who eventually died of Diptheria. Saw Hillary looking tough as nails in a hot pink suit on the same channel. Turns out the New Start treaty has nothing to do with "Start Me Up."
So I better roll. I’ve got a stone to romance.
“I’m romancing the stone, never leaving your poor heart alone/
Every night and every day gonna love the hurtin away.
Oh and in the heat of rapture when I feel the cold winds blow/
Through the broken glass, I’ll see at last the sweet desire in you.”
“Romancing the Stone,” Eddy Grant
