An Ad for the Car that Moves Forward Too Much

Riddle me this: If you were writing a jingle for Toyota, what would it say? Better yet, what would it not say?

Advertising is my one that got away. As a kid I wrote jingles: “Lite beer is the right beer; drink the right beer to be light.” As a med student I spent more time than I care to admit designing a logo for my business cards when I taught CPR. So I enjoy ads.

Sometimes I am shocked by advertising humor. Today I was just shocked by marketing stupidity.

Old habits die hard and I can’t help but use the keyboard as a placemat for lunch. This afternoon I looked up from my Pink Lady and spied a Toyota ad next to my inbox. They are moving forward.

And M.D. Anderson is making cancer history. Now that’s one I like. It makes sense. There’s a double meaning. Great.

But in this day of the runaway Prius, should Toyota really be moving forward? Maybe they should borrow from the alcoholic beverage industry and say their cars know when to say when. Maybe Ford should capitalize on this problem and say friends don’t let friends drive Toyotas.

How long does it take for the damage control peeps to sit up and notice a national advertising campaign that looks more like a joke at this stage of the story? Toyota moving forward—is that an excerpt from a 911 call?

Disclaimer: The author’s first car was a white Corolla and she presently drives a black Highlander.

Afterthought: Maybe Toyota can’t afford a new ad campaign. If that’s the case, I’ll retract my barb.

Note to Mr. Toyota: Please spend all the money you need on quality assurance right now. I’ll offer you a new slogan, gratis, once you put safe cars on the roads.