The piece evolved into a rant about everything that is too
long. I smiled in agreement at so many of the items mentioned. Then the writer
said something that ticked me off. But before I tell you why I loathed him,
does the name Laith mean anything to you?
I won’t publicly admit to liking the television show “The
Voice.” In the first place, nowadays it’s not so cool to say you watch TV. Many of my friends don’t even have cable, and if you mention you
have cable, you are going to set yourself up as the oddball. Not that my
friends who don’t watch television read Proust in their spare time--well one of
them probably does--but the point is, people posit TV is fluff. Yet I’ll
confess there’s no better TV porn than a medical drama series. Given all the
time I spent in the Texas Medical Center as a young doctor, my penchant for
this genre shouldn’t be a head-scratcher. Those TV dramas transport me back to a
time when I was more…nubile.
Not too surprising, either, that I also watch music on
television. “Austin City Limits.” “The Voice.” “The Voice?” My cool factor just
went way down, didn’t it?
Last season I watched “The Voice” one night because I had
seen a No Doubt music video from the 90s, and I was curious what Gwen Stefani would
be like decades later as a coach on the show. Once her interfaith romance with
fellow coach Blake Shelton ensued, I couldn’t make plans for 8 on Monday and
Tuesday nights because I was watching Gwen and Blake for tells that they really
did like each other (like the tabloids said they did). That is so last year.
This year Gwen is gone, and I latch on for Laith.
Laith is an anomaly as far as “The Voice” contestants go.
Laith is old. How old is he? Oh my God, he is 38! He’s roughly two decades older than the rest
of the contestants.
Laith has long hair. Seems like he doesn’t have the same
hair stylist as the long-haired lady coaches. Humidity might be his beauty
secret.
Laith has an untrimmed beard that suggests weeks of being
“Naked and Afraid.”
And can you put a bluesman in on the spin cycle and have him
come out ready for gross consumption? Well, he went straight to the top of the
iTunes charts once Pharrell Williams suggested America check out Laith’s
electric blues records on iTunes.
For those of you who don’t watch “The Voice,” last Tuesday
on the results show, there Laith stood onstage waiting to find out if he could be instantly saved by viewers who would vote him on to next week’s final round on the
basis of his cover of “All Along the Watchtower.” If you watch Laith’s last stand, you’ll see
he spent some of his precious time on guitar solos, causing Adam Levine, his
coach, to plead with American to pick him in spite of, or maybe because of, his
rare penchant for ax-toting on a show about vocals.
When Carson Daly, the host, invited the viewing audience to
tweet which of the three remaining contestants they wanted to save, I had one
thought. Uh-oh! I don’t tweet. And I
worried that most Laith fans might not be in the Twitter demographic.
America voted. Turns out guitar solos are okay after all. And I am guessing that Laith could have made
his solos longer and still gotten the save.
So yes, some things in life are too long. Blue jeans off the
rack are way too long, but electric blues solos are not.
Now for an acoustic memory, here’s one of my all-time
favorite blues guitar solos. I probably first saw Louisville’s own David Grissom play
this solo live in Houston at a Thursday Party on the (Jones) Plaza with Drs. Gregg
and Barrow Barré in 1996. And bonus! You can still see David Grissom (pictured below) play long blues solos every Tuesday night at the Saxon Pub in Austin.
Perhaps this year’s presidential election has you down.
Maybe there is no way to win with your vote in November. I say, cast a vote in
May for Laith. You’ll be endorsing long guitar solos. What could be more
important?
Did I tell you about the newspaper essay last weekend that
said guitar solos are too long?
"So let us not talk falsely now/The hour is getting late"
-Bob Dylan, "All Along the Watchtower"
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